I Adore Them

I don't remember much about when my brother Jay was born, since I was only 18 months old, but I'm sure that I was as thrilled as any toddler is to have a little sibling to beat on and cuddle to distraction. I was six when Rex was born, and I kind of took charge of him from the time he came home. He and I were pretty attached to each other--he was an amazing little soul. When Cash came along eleven months later, I was old enough to care if I got a brother or sister, and I wanted a sister! The day my parents brought him home from the hospital, I was sitting in a chair holding him trying to convince myself that another brother would be ok, when my dad flew across the room and grabbed a pot out of Rex's hand before it came down on Cash's head. I don't think 11-month-old Rex was ready to give up his place as the family baby. Cash soon won me over, as he does everyone he has met since, and I guess I resigned myself to the fact that I would be the only girl. There are advantages to being the only girl child, after all, especially if you're the oldest. You pretty much get to call the shots with the younger kids, you don't have to share your stuff, you get your own room, and you are the only "daddy's little girl" in the house.

So three years after Cash, my parents went and got my hopes up again for a sister when they conceived a fifth child. By this time I was ten years old and I was absolutely sure a sister was on the way. They'd done it once, surely they could do it again, right? Why else would God be giving our family another child if it wasn't going to be a sister for me to dress up, do her hair, and show her how to survive in our male-dominated home? I could hardly stand the anticipation waiting for the call from the hospital on October 21. Finally, my dad called to tell me that I had another little brother. And he was expecting me to what? Jump for joy? Call my little friends to share the happy news? Nope. I did what any little girl would do in that situation. I cried.

And that's how it started, my life with four little boys. Sadly, I only got seven years with Rex, but I have had the last forty, give or take depending on the brother, with the other boys. The verdict on growing up with all brothers? LOVED IT! Of course there are those who say that I don't know any different, so how can I say growing up with brothers was any better than growing up with sisters. How? I married a wonderful man with seven sisters, and while I envy a lot about their sisterhood, I've noticed things I didn't miss as well. But my main girl experience comes from currently living in a house charged with estrogen. Having studied this sister phenomena in my home for fourteen years now, I have deduced the following advantages of a girl having only brothers (don't get me wrong, though. I love Brent's sisters and my girls very, very much--just some empirical research):

1. Absolutely none of your siblings wants to wear the same outfit you do on the same day.

2. You can always find your make-up because your brothers don't own a make-up bag.

3. The bedroom is yours and yours alone. Most brothers don't want pictures of Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, or in my day, Scott Baio, on their walls, nor do they appreciate a great pink and brown or turquoise color scheme.

4. There is no sharing of feminine hygiene products, so they are always ready and waiting where you put them last month.

5. You get way more phone time! My experience with boys, even my son, has shown that while a guy likes a good chat on the phone with girl friends, it's not nearly as often or as long as girls talk to guys on the phone. And guy talks with their guy friends are about 45 seconds, going something like,"Dude, you going golfing tomorrow? What time? K. Meet ya there. Later." Which brings me to #6:

6. You enjoy mostly short conversations and low maintenance. While I realize that not all boys and men are like this, most of the ones I have lived with and met require little conversation and little explanation. They don't care to hear the "long version" of any story, and they don't spend hours worrying about and analyzing things they can't fix. They pretty much take you at face value. Cool.

7. Way fewer emotional roller coasters. In addition to the monthly hormonal fluctuations we girls suffer, there are always tears, laughs, elation, and break-downs close to the surface. It doesn't take much to trigger a random emotion, and girls know how to pull each other's triggers. . .and they do it for fun sometimes.

8. No long-lasting grudges. Girls can remember an offense and hold a grudge f..o..r..e..v..e..r. Guys, on the other hand, if they even realize they should have taken offense, get over it and get on with it. Why waste time on that stuff?

Anyway, there are others I haven't listed, but I wanted to get to the point of this whole post, and that is that I love and adore my brothers. They were fun, active, smart little boys who have grown into fun, busy, accomplished men. No one can make me laugh like Jay, Cash, and Jared, and just being with them feels like coming home. I learned from growing up with them what I wanted in a husband, and I found a great one. My brothers truly care about each other and my family, and they have set examples of perseverance, fatherhood, spirituality, compassion, and work for my children. They let me practice my mothering skills on them when they were young (albeit not always willingly or patiently :) ), and they have let me make all kinds of mistakes over the years. All they seem to expect from me is to love them and their families, and I do.
Jay has taught me to do what I love. He was drum major when drum major wasn't cool because he loved it. He has let his passion for drawing and art lead him since he was a child, and even though he's not a millionaire, he is doing what he loves and is gifted at. Jay taught me to express love to others. He is always ready with a hug or a kiss whenever needed. We weren't best friends growing up, but I consider him a bosom friend now. Jay has an eye for beauty and has taught me to look in unexpected places for uniquely beautiful things. Not only that, he brought my first sister into my life, and I realized when I met and got to know Lauralee that I had the sister I always wanted--and just the good parts of having a sister!

My brother Cash is really a god-send to the Hill family. He was kind of a middle child growing up and took a back seat to a lot of our activities, but he is awesome anyway! Mom and I tend to overanalyze and try to fix everything. We're a little too serious. Cash isn't. He can tell us to chill out and get a grip without making us cry, and he makes me laugh so hard my face hurts. From Cash I have learned to embrace life harder, enjoy it, and even swear at it if that's what it takes. Cash is a very practical, git-er-done kind of guy. If it needs done, he'll do it. Fortunately for us all, he is a problem solver and he married an organizer, so Cash and Marisa are the ones the whole family looks to for advice on the things that we can't wrap our heads around. Cash and Marisa are the brains behind the beauty. . .er. . .the rest of the family. :)

Jared is kind of my baby. When my dad died, Jared was two, and Mom was called as Relief Society President six months later, so much of Jared's care fell to me at 13 years old. He's still alive and healthy, so I guess I did ok. When Jared was playing football, I would get so nervous before his games that I would be sick to my stomach and looking for the nearest restroom. I was so concerned about who he would marry that I picked Maren for him while he was on his mission. Jared has taught me to never quit. He has suffered so many injuries and setbacks, but he perseveres and comes back stronger. I learned from watching him that it's ok to lose sometimes (but it's infinitely better to win!). Jared has a joy about him that is contagious. He teaches me to relax and enjoy. He is quick to laugh, and he attracts success. My Dalin has decided to become a dentist because he admires Jared so much, and you'll notice that Dalin's hair is much the same as Jared's.

So I could go on and on, but wait. . .I already have. Let's just say that I consider myself truly blessed to have been born into the family I have. I realize that there are lots of things that I missed by not having a sister, but it's ok. I think I've survived, even thrived. I am eternally grateful to my parents both earthly and heavenly for my brothers, and now for the sisters-in-law and beautiful nephews and nieces they have brought into my life. I adore them.